Sonntag, 12. Februar 2012

Fanmade Robsten Commentary für die Breaking Dawn Teil 1 DVD

Falls ihr auch soooo traurig darüber seid, dass wir auf der Breaking Dawn Teil 1 DVD keinen Audiokommentar von Rob und Kristen finden, dann hab ich hier etwas echt süßes für euch!

Auf RamblingRobsten hab ich hier diesen Fanmade Kommentar von Rob und Kristen passend zur BD DVD gefunden. Es ist ein ausgedachten Gespräch, dass unter Umständen bzw. an einigen Stellen hätte tatsächlich so verlaufen können^^

Mir jedenfalls hat das Lesen Spaß gemacht...Und wer ein Robsten Fan unter euch ist und den Twilight und auch Eclipse Audiokommentar schon soo oft gehört/geschaut hat wie ich, dem wird das hier auch gefallen. Hoffen wir auf ein erneutes Zusammentreffen vor dem Mikrofon der beiden für die letzte DVD!

*100% Fake Robsten Commentary on Breaking Dawn.*
R: Where is this from?
K: What are you talking about…
R: The words you’re saying…
K: Oh… I wrote that….
R: Really?
K: No. Not really.  It’s a poem.
R: By whom?
K: Um…. dang it…. I should know this… It’s by some woman…
R: Yeah. Some Woman was a great poet.
K: Shut up.
R: Why are the invitations waterproof?
K: *laughing* I don’t know.
R: Why does Taylor take his clothes off when he finds out we are getting married? That is a very odd reaction.
K: Dude. He has to take his shirt off because he’s going to phase….
R: Hmmmm…. I’m just glad I didn’t have to open the movie by taking my clothes off…
K: Your naked scenes come later.
R: The ones where I have no butt crack?
K: Don’t talk about butt cracks in the commentree.
R: Fiiiiiine.
K: Edward has two middle names like you do in real life.
R: That’s very observant, Kristen Jaymes Stewart.
K: Dude. Those shoes…I’m not faking.  That is how I actually walk in high heels.
R: No you don’t… you do great….
K: Yeah right.
R: You’ve gotten much better at it.
K: I took lessons from you.
R: They don’t make heels big enough for my giant feet.
K: *laughing* I’m sure they do somewhere….
R: *laughing*
R: You’re wearing your real rings in this scene.
K: How do you even notice that?
R: Because it’s the one I…
K: Shhhhh….
R: Why is Rosalie out of breath carrying the log? She’s a super strong vampire.
K: I don’t know….
R: I look very weird here….
K: You do look different.
R: And what is with that expression…
K: You’re thinking about how you’re going to tell me you killed people…
R: I look constipated.
K: Rob!
R: I know. Don’t say constipated in the commentree.
K: *laughing* 
R: Why do you still have that dream catcher on your bed?
K: Welll…
R: And what is with the picture of the white dog? Whose dog is that? Is it Billy’s dog?
K: I know. It should have been a picture of a woof.
R: Whatever.
K: Bella’s taste in pajamas is awful.
R: Yeah. Alice does pick out better ones.
K: *laughing*
K: That virgin line always gets a laugh.
R: Yeah.
K: You look so crazy with those red eyes.
R: Yeah, at first it seems like I’m stalking this woman…
K: I know, right? Edward would never.
R: I look like I have lipstick on…
K: Yeah…blood lipstick…. Aww…look at you with your little golf hat on.
R: *laughing*
K: You should wear hats like that in real life.
R: Yeah. And then pair it with the pea coat from the first one.
K: *laughing*
R: And here starts the kissing….
K: Yeah… I did make out more for this movie than any other movie I’ve ever done.
R: You loved it.
K: Shhhhh
R: Dude. That thing about bears for the bachelor party…
K: I know.  It’s kind of ironic now right?
R: Yeah.
K: I think we are supposed to talk to the audience and not each other, especially about stuff the audience isn’t in on….
R: That sounds boring…. Let’s keep talking to each other.
K: *laughing*

Weiter geht´s nach dem *Klick*

R: It’s a trick…it’s not the real wedding.
K: I know… but that was still a very pretty dress…
R: This turned out so cool… very creative…. a wedding cake made of dead humans…..
K: Yeah.
R: But still… you’ve been begging for a honeymoon for months…. Shouldn’t you have been dreaming about that?
K: Dreaming about thrusting?
R: Exactly.
K: Yeah…. but that wouldn’t show how Bella is nervous about becoming a vampire or how dangerous she might become….
R: Blah Blah Blah.
K: Blah. *laughing*
R: The graduation caps were a nice touch.
K: Yeah. It’s good symmetry.
R: Yup.
R: Oh. Charlie. Always so observant.
K: Yeah. Sometimes too observant.
R: I’m sure Edward has something blue.
K: What?
R: Well… he’s been waiting quite awhile for that wedding night.
K: Ewww Grossss.
R: *laughing*
R: Awwww you are a masterpiece with your little braid thing….
K: Shhhh
R: I still don’t understand why you were so nervous for this scene.
K: Because… it’s a big scene… one of the biggest.
R: Maybe Jessica should give Alice some tips on envisioning the future.
K: *laughing*. Right?
R: Awwww look at you, looking all nervous.
K: I am nervous; I’m about to marry you.
R: Yes. You are…. and you don’t even know it’s a real life priest….
K: Will you shush?
K: I love that Stephanie and Wyck are at the wedding…. It’s kind of perfect…
R: I don’t care about wedding dresses or that girl stuff but I was fond of the back view of that dress….
K: Rob!
R: What? It’s very sexy.
R: Why is Mike looking at you like that? You’re getting married.
K: He wasn’t looking at me like anything.
R: He was.
R: Your hand was shaking when Charlie handed it to me.
K: Don’t pretend you weren’t nervous too.
R: I wasn’t. What was there to be nervous about?
K: Shhh…. I’m about to promise myself to you for forever….
R: I know. I love this part.
K: I kept mixing up which part of the vows I was supposed to be saying…
R: The important part is that we said them…
K: Yeah…
R: In front of a real priest…
K: Rob… seriously… you have to stop that.
R: Never.
K: I’m so happy they used this song. 
R: Me too. It’s perfect. Do you remember how you reacted when you heard it…?
K: When?
R: During the first one…rehearsals….
K: Oh yeah. I got all emotional…. and you didn’t know what to do…..
R: *laughing*
K: Dude. That is perfect. All the people just disappeared.
R: Do I really kiss like that? Why is my nose flat?
K: You’re ruining the moment.
R: *laughing*
R: I thought it’d be bigger? Well that is just inappropriate.
K: Rob. She was talking about the cake.
R: *laughing*
K: And I think you know that she was talking about the cake.
K: I remember this…. I couldn’t stop laughing….
R: I know. I love it when you lose it talking to blonde vamps.
R: My hands are giant. They practically wrap around half of you.
K: What are you talking about? Your hands are fine.
R: Maybe you just make them look big since you’re so miniature.
K: Please I may be small but I can still take you on…and your giant hands.
R: Yeah? I’d like to hear more about that.
K: Let’s not talk about that in the commentree.
R: *laughing*
K: Dude. What is Alice talking about?
R: That isn’t even the weirdest toast…. Why is Renee singing?
K: *laughing*
R: I think I’m going to put that into our daughter’s wedding toast one day.
K: Our?
R: Whoops. Cut that bit out.
K: What part of Charlie’s toast would you like to put into *cough* daughter’s wedding toast?
R: I know how to shoot a gun.
K: I love us dancing here.
R: I know everyone is dancing all fast and breaking it down.
K: And we are just swaying back and forth…not even moving our feet…. And it’s this crazy fast paced song.
R: *laughing*
K: It really is crazy because that is how it would be in real life.
R: I know.
R: This is bullshit. I would kick his ass if this was real life. Total bullshit. And why are you smiling at him like that?
K: I know. I’m thinking I should switch grooms.
K: *laughing*
R: And why is he rubbing your neck with his pubescent chin stubble?  I don’t think that was in the script.
K: I don’t know how to respond to that.
R: I think soon he should be dead to you because I should kill him. 
K: Edward would never.
R: Edward’s a pussy.
K: Shhhhh…. You can’t say that… say wimp…..
R:  Whatever.
K: *laughing*
R: *laughing*
K: I like that I got to wear wedding tennis shoes here.
R: Yeah.
K: Too bad they don’t let me borrow those for premieres.
R: You usually make do.
K: I know. I bring my vans.
R: Yup.
K: Yup.
R: Yeahhhh,  love that line…..
K: Which one?
R: “Let me go” Shoulda been saying that shit three movies ago….
K: I think you mean crap.
R: Oh yeah. Ooops.
K: This had to have been really hard… because at this point this was the last time she was going to see her parents… could you imagine?
R: No. And look at Charlie….. Why does he look like someone stole his puppy?
K: Because he’s sad his daughter got married.
R: Hmmm.
R: You’re like this with your dad in real life.
K: Yeah?
R: Yup.
R: I was allowed to drive a little for this scene….
K: I asked for extra seat belts.
R: You did not. Shut up.
K: Look. It’s Brazil.
R: And that was our real cab we took around the city with our real cab driver.
K: Rob. We shot that on the green screen….
R: Shhhh. Can you just go along with it?
K: I’m not going to lie.
R: I can’t believe how much we had to shoot for that little bit of street scene.
K: I know. I had to spend all night walking around the street… kissing you…
R: Hard work…..
K: Yeah… that’s why they pay me the big bucks?
R: For the hard work?
K: Shut. Up.
R: Seee… this is crap. If I was as rich as Edward I would buy you your own island.  We wouldn’t borrow someone else’s.
K: *laughing*
R: Oooo yeah. There it is. The big bed.
K: With that breakable headboard.
R: You’re thinking about it.
K: So are you. Look at your face. You know you want it.
R: Have I ever said I didn’t? As a matter of fact I’m getting bored right now….how about we…..
K: Rob. We’re being recorded here.
R: Oh yeah. Cut that bit out.
K: Seriously. You…. Dudes… you can’t leave that bit in…
R: lol
K: She’s thinking hell no I’m not tired.
R: *laughing* You mean heck.
K: Shut up.
R: *laughing*
K: I like this scene… it shows how nervous she is.
R: Do you get ready for bed like this in real life?
K: No. Not exactly.
R: What do you differently?
K: I wear flannel pajamas, not a towel.
R: Liar.
K: Shhh. *whispering* Rob you’re not supposed to know what I wear to bed.
R: Why? *girly voice* We have slumber parties like every night.
K: Shut up. Loser.
R: You look naked.
K: But I’m not…. I had on a green bikini…
R: Which you wouldn’t take off no matter how many times I asked.
K: *laughing*
R: How come we never see your tongue?
K: I don’t even know what to say to that.
R: *laughing*
R: Oh yeah. Look at us in the bed. You’re getting into it. Gripping my back….
K: Yeah. Grip that mole.
R: Shut up. You love that mole……..admit it….
K: *sarcastically* Fine, fine….. I was into it.
R: You were. You went crazzzzzy remember?
K: Yeah. I completely lost it.
R: *laughing*
K: Actually, I couldn’t take any of it seriously…. I kept laughing.
R: Ouch. It doesn’t help my ego when you laugh at me in bed…..
K: Whatever. Your ego doesn’t need any help.
R: LOL Yes it does. I’m very sensitive.
K: Sure.
R: See…. I don’t see why Edward is freaking out. You bruise quite easily… even during normal human sex sometimes you…
K: Rob.
R: What?
K: Recording. We are being recorded.
R: I keep forgetting.
K: Anyways. Best night of his existence… see I’m that good.
R: Yes you are.
K: Why is Edward always making everything a big deal?  It’s bruises…. Just do it…
R: *laughing*
R: How is Edward not losing his shit? I mean look at you. You’re in a little negligee thing… with your breasts hanging out….
K: Rob, my breasts are not hanging out.
R: Stop ruining it… I’m imagining it… and now that tiny bikini…. Dude… why does he keep running away? This makes no sense….
K: He doesn’t want to hurt her.
R: Whatever.
K: Oooo there is a little tongue…..
R: *laughing* Why doesn’t Bella want to talk about the dream?
K: Because….
R: Doesn’t she like to talk dirty in bed?
K: *laughing*
R: From sex to coffin…. Way to kill the mood, Bill.
K: *laughing*
R: Why doesn’t Taylor have his shirt off?
K: I think he actively tried to convince the big wigs or whatever to let him keep his shirt on more often…
R: Why?
K: I’m guessing because you spent all Eclipse press talking about his nipples….
R: *laughing*
K: But I don’t really know for sure.
R: And no one is wearing cut off spandex shorts….
K: Wait… Boo Boo has his shirt off….
R: Go Boo Boo….
K: *laughing*
R: Back to the honeymoon…..
K: I know we’re actually a normal couple for one scene here….
R: Yeah….I remember this.  I had to hold your foot….
K: Shhhh
R: Because you kept rubbing your foot on…..
K: Shut. UP.
R: *laughing* And here he is again… leaving you…and you’ve got those little shorts on that show off your…
K: Rob. STOP.
R: I don’t care how hungry I was… I wouldn’t leave you in that bed….
K: Shhhhh….
R: Interesting bit of trivia. Kristen is actually a great cook and no one gets sick after eating her cooking.
K: Thank you, Rob.
R: You’re welcome.
K: But I would like to point out Bella is a great cook too… she has morning sickness here…
R: Hmmm…
K: Don’t say late for what.
R:  Always ruining my jokes.
K: Whatever.
R: How do you even know you’re pregnant?  Your stomach is perfectly flat?
K: I can feel something inside of me….
R: I really do speak Portuguese.
K: And by speak it, he means repeat words that are said to him off camera without knowing what they mean.
R: *laughing*
R: I wish I could actually pack a suitcase this fast….
K: Me too. Or even pack a suitcase at all…. You know, without just balling everything up so that it’s all wrinkled….
R: Shut up.
K: *laughing*
R: *humming*
K: Are you humming?
R: Yup. You’re very good in this scene… you can actually see what you’re feeling about the baby….
K: Don’t…. dude…
R: *laughing*
K: If my husband ever reacted that way to me getting pregnant it would be divorce time….
R: Why don’t you get pregnant and see how I react?
K: Stop the tape. Rob. Dude. You can NOT say things like that.
R: They’ll just cut it out later.
K: They didn’t last time….
R: Fun killer.
K: *rolling eyes*
R: They didn’t stop the tape.
K: They never do.
R: I don’t know what to say about this scene.
K: We weren’t there…. I like that green bowl.
R: Jacob’s coming to the house. Dammit.
K: I sound so weird there…
R: Your voice does sound odd….. *holding nose* Jake are you there? They cut out Edward telling him to get out.
K: No. They didn’t… that didn’t happen.
R: It should have.  And…..doesn’t he know you never tell a girl she looks terrible?
K: Why?
R: You just don’t.
K: So you lie to her instead?
R: Hmmmm… those aren’t really trees… in the window…
K: *laughing* Baby.
R: The baby.
K: Baby.
R: *laughing*
K: I like you in this scene. It’s good.
R: Hmm. I’m thirsty.
K: In the scene?
R: No. Right now.
K: Well we’re not stopping to get a drink.
R: Slave driver.
K: Exactly.
R: I don’t like seeing you like that.
K: Pregnant?
R: No looking all… sick… it’s….
K: I know…. Creepy.
R: Why didn’t Taylor take his shirt off to phase?
K: Because you got to be the topless male star in this one…..
R: *laughing*
R: Where did they find talking woofs?
K: Shhhh
R: I think we should get a talking woof.
K: *laughing*
R: So….
K: Yeah….
R: Taylor likes to work out.
K: Rob.
R: And swim… with sharks…
K: What are you talking about?
R: I’m trying to think of something to say….
K: Oh. I feel bad for Leah….
R: Yeah. Why?
K: Aren’t you paying attention to the movie?
R: Yeah. Um. Leah and Jacob are talking blah blah….
K: No…. she is sad because… never mind…
R: Look. It’s back to us……
K: What are you wearing?
R: I know that sweater is bizarre looking.
K: Yeah. It’s like a scarf sweater… did you mistake Carlisle’s wardrobe for yours that day?
R: *laughing*
R: This scene was difficult.
K: Yeah.
R: It’s really hard to yell at Kristen.
K: But it’s an important scene…. It shows how angry Edward is…
R: With good reason…  I mean…
K: Yeah….  My God, look at my face….
R: Yeah….  It didn’t look like that when we were doing the scene.
K: It looked even more bizarre.
R: Oh, here it comes….
K: Rob doesn’t yell like that in real life.
R: I hate raising my voice.
K: Me too.
R: This bathroom scene….
K: I know…..
R: It’s… The special effects people did too good a job… it’s scary…
K: I know…
R: Look at that little punk. You’re married. We have plenty of money… Can’t Edward just stock up on heated blankets?
K: That wouldn’t be a good plot element.
R: Yes it would.
K: Oh…. Yummy….blood slushy.
R: It’s crazy how real it looks.
K: But it just tastes like liquid candy.
R: Now that is sexy… blood mouth.
K: Oh hush.
R: I love that Bill left in your little “yum” sound.
K: I know.
R: Yummy. Edward’s making you another blood cocktail. Why can’t the vegetarian vamps just drink blood from a cup too?
K: I don’t know. Because they want to be vegetarians…
R: But couldn’t they just like rob blood banks…
K: No… that would still be hurting humans….
R: Hmmm….
K: Poor Charlie.
R: Yeah….
K: Finally a normal reaction from Edward…
R: Yeah. Hearing an unborn baby talk is very normal.
K: I meant the daddy-esque reaction.
R: Daddy-esque….
K: You know what I mean….
R: Yes… the pillow on your stomach is very special…
K: Shut up.
R: I always have an emotional reaction to down stuffed pillows…
K: Dude.
R: But seriously… you look cute pregnant….
K: Rob…
R: Very cute… it’s a good look for you….
K: Awwww, hands on belly…… I just can’t….
R: *laughing*
K: Bill does a good job contrasting scenes…
R: Yup.
K: There is a distinctive lack of male nudity in this one….
R: Hey… I took off my shirt for you…
K: *laughing*
R: Hmm… There they go….vamps making a run for it…. Jacob does a good thing in this scene.
K: Wow… something nice about Jacob.
R: Yeah. But then he’s going to imprint on the baby and mess everything up again.
K: Beller.
R: I don’t get this. It’s my kid. Why are you telling the woof about the baby names…and why do you want to name my baby after him?….I would so not be okay with that.
K: Whatever.
R: The sound effects here are pretty good.
K: Yeah. Even I cringe when I hear it.
R: Yummy….. it’s jam and cream cheese time.
K: I was really happy about how this turned out….  Yes… and Bill left that screaming in.
R: Yeah…wait there it is…. jam face….
K: It supposed to be placenta face….
R: *laughing*
K: I can’t believe I just said that.
R: There’s the poor baby.
K: I just can’t with you and that baby…. It’s crazy how good you are with them….
R: Yeah… because it wasn’t just one baby; we were working with multiple babies…
K: Yeah.
R: But then….. it all goes wrong.
K: Yeah… when my eyes go dead…. I mean it’s very convincing.
R: Can we turn it off now?
K: No. Definitely not. You’re very good in this scene.
R: Yeah. Oh my God… Kris, are you tearing up?
K: No. Shut up. I have something in my eye.
R: Hmmm….
K: But seriously. *sniff*  Rob… you’re very convincing in this scene. You really look like you’re losing someone you love…. What were you thinking about in this scene?
R: Cheeseburgers.
K: Rob.
R: Oh. Look…my venom is boiling you…..
K: Oh my God…. When Edward says…. Bella please…. It rips my heart out….
R: Hmm. There’s Jacob…. I don’t know why he’s sad… he didn’t even try to save you, and look at me back there… just working away…
K: That’s not you…. That’s a stand in.
R: You know what I mean.
K: Yeah, yeah…
R: Uh oh, the woofs are coming. This freaking blows. My wife almost dies in childbirth and then some stupid dogs come to attack us….
K: Yeah.
R: And here it is… it’s the best scene in the whole movie….
K: Rob.
R: Imprinting.  Yes. Jacob falling in love with the baby. *laughing* It’s so good.
K: I think Bill did a good job with portraying imprinting…. I mean he takes the creepiness out of it.
R: It’s still a little creepy.
K: *laughing*
R: Yeah…
K: So how did you prepare for this fight scene?
R: I practiced with the real wolves in your parent’s backyard….
K: *laughing* Just for the record…. Those are not real wolves in this scene….
R: *laughing*
K: Well… it’s almost over…..
R: Yeah….  How does it end again? Do we get to watch the vamp sex?
K: Rob… you know where the movie ends…
R: Maybe they changed it for the DVD.
K: No.
R: But.
K: No.
R: Dagnabbit.
K: The effects guys did a fantastic job here.
R: I know. It’s like watching magic plastic surgery.
K: I would never have plastic surgery.
R: Of course you wouldn’t… you don’t need it… you’re gorgeous.
K: I didn’t mean… I just…
R: Wouldn’t it be cool if there was really something that could heal you like this?
K: Yeah….but then you would become a vampire… so…no.
R: Awwww… I love this part….
K: Yeah. The montage…. It’s really perfect…. The meadow.
R: The prom.
K: And the cactus.
R: And look… Charlie without a mustache.
K: Yes. Then red eyes. I love that ending.
R: Well… this has been great fun….
K: *laughing*
R: Wait……
K: There is one more scene….
R: Yup. The Volturi.
K: *mimicking Rob* Volturi.
R: Look they put your name on top of mine. I like that.
K: And yours on top of Taylors….
R: That’s cool. I’m into it.
K: Yeah? That MTV movie awards kiss get you into it.
R: *laughing*
K: *laughing*
R: Carlisle is spelled with an “S” *laughing* That is a great line.
K: Yup.
R: Aro…you may want it but you’re not going to get it.
K: Rob. You just spoiled Breaking Dawn 2… now no one will go see it.
R: *laughing*
K: Well… thanks for listening to our blather.
R: Yeah… it’s been a good time.
K: Good times. Good times.
R: Well…
K: Well….
R: Yeah.
K: Bye.
R: Bye.

Author’s Note
I really, really, really hope you like this. I’m beyond devastated that we did not get REAL RK commentree for Breaking Dawn Part 1. This is just a watered down very lame second prize. But still….. maybe its better than nothing….

1 Kommentar:

  1. *lach* Das muss jetzt nur noch vertont und ins Deutsche übersetzt werden! Wäre auf jeden Fall eine perfekte Idee, um die Stimmen der deutschen Synchronsprecher zu überspielen (nicht, dass ich etwa etwas gegen die hätte ...)


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